


Living hell

by Yessdaddy69



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yessdaddy69/pseuds/Yessdaddy69
Summary: you are childhood best friend's with Oikawa and things aren't easy. There are millions of problems and millions of Volleyball matches to come your way. But most importantly will you survive your life in a living hell?
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. You're going to shiritorizawa?

"shittykawa get your ass here" you shout in the volleyball club room. "y/n-chan, don't be so mean iwa-chan calls me that all the time. it's so mean" he says whilst poking his index fingers together. 

the brown-haired boy looks down, chuckling I rub his head. "well we've got practice. let's go" we walk out the changing room and go to the sports hall "you going to aobajohsai?" he asks flicking my light purple hair out of my eyes. "they're a powerhouse school, of course, I would go. I would love to manage a powerhouse school. please say you're going there as well" 

"of course I'm going aobajohsai, where ever you go I go. just remember that y/n-chan," he says strangely. something's up. "what other schools have you applied for?" he asks "I've only applied for Aobajohsai. I didn't think I'd get into any other school." his eyes widen "y/n-chan you need to be more responsible." he complains whilst opening the doors to the sports hall. "hey iwaizumi, is Tobio here yet?" I ask and he directs me to the boy my nudging his had in his direction.

as I walk over to Kageyama I hear iwaizumi shout "stop calling me iwa-chan shittykawa" chuckling I carry on my walk to Kageyama. "hey Tobio." I call out. "I know you want to learn how to serve like Oikawa but you need to stop asking. the guy is going to bust a fume and it's going to get out of hand. why don't you get one of the other members to help you instead." the kid just stares blankly at me and I nod whilst walking off. he's totally going to ask him again. 

"Toru if Kageyama asks anything don't be too harsh on him again. he only wants to learn from the best. he blushes at me "you think I'm the best?" I nod "even if you do, the kid annoys me so much he thinks he's better then me and everyone else. of, I forgot my knee pads in the locker. would you get them for me y/n-chan" he asks with a sickly sweet smile.

"it's not like I have anything better to do so why not" it's not like his locker is far from here. Is Oikawa going to Aobajohsai? he didn't really answer my question. Maybe he's going to a different school. maybe Shiritorizawa, Nekoma fukurodani or even date tech. maybe not Nekoma or fukurodani there all the way in Tokyo. I reach his locker and open it since I know the code. 

I reach for his pads and my hand grazes over a letter. huh? who would write to Oikawa? maybe it's another love note. I pick it up and it's from Shiritorizawa should I read it? I'm nosy as hell so why not. 

Dear Toru Oikawa

you have been accepted in Shritorizawa. to confirm your place please phone this number*****-***-*** if you no longer wish to go to Shiritorizawa do not respond. 

I don't bother reading the rest. he's been accepted to Shiritorizawa. he didn't tell me what if he goes and I'll be on my own and people will pick on me again and I'll have no friends and I'll be on my own for the rest of my life. before I know it tears are slipping from my eyes. I can't let him see me like this so I put the letter in his locker, take the pads and make my way back to the sports hall. I pass Oikawa his pads and take my place on the bench. Junior high prefectures are close. I hope our boys push through this and win. 

Once practice Is over I help pack up making sure Oikawa and Kageyama are nowhere near each other. However, when I was in the storage room putting the last things away I hear a load of shouting. I drop everything and run out only to see iwaizumi holding Oikawa's arm. what? I look around and see that Oikawa was going to strike Kageyama. "Toru Oikawa what do you think you're doing?" I shout. he immediately realises and drops his arms and takes a few steps back. shocked at his own actions. "did you not hear me, what were you doing?" I ask getting closer to him. "s-sorry Kageyama." he whispers breaking out into tears. 

I turn and look at the shocked boy. "what did I tell you earlier?" I ask Kageyama. "not to ask Oikawa to teach me" so he knows what he was doing. "and yet you go and ask him anyway? does my word mean nothing to you? I guess you're tough enough to be the manager. I'll leave junior prefects are coming up I guess you're got that handled. I guess you've got practice matches with other schools ready." he looks down. "next time I tell you something. listen to me." I turn my head back to Oikawa. "I'll talk to you later but for now." I take Oikawa's and Kageyama's arm and pull them together. "hug it out" Oikawa glares daggers at me whilst awkwardly hugging Kageyama. 

"you two are also banned for a week" I know Toru hates Tobio but I'd never expected him to actually go and hit the boy. What is he playing at? 

Once Toru changed from his kit we walk to the park and have a talk. "Why?" I ask. "I don't know why Y/n it just-" not that "no, why did you keep your acceptance letter from shiritorizawa from me?" He looks down. "I don't know why. I keep on messing up. First with Kageyama and now with you" I stand up from the swings we were sat on and gig him from behind. 

"You haven't messed up with me. I just wish you told me. You should go, put your talent to good use. Go and win nationals with shiritorizawa they've been so close in the past." If he does go to shiritorizawa I wouldn't be able to see him again. They have a tight schedule that's why I didn't apply to go to shiritorizawa. 

"I'm not going. Where ever you go I go. I made that promise years ago and I'm not about to break it. What would your mum think?" 

"Why do you have to bring her up?" I mutter. "you never talk about her anymore plus I told her that I'll protect you so I have to go everywhere you have to go." who says he has to protect me. "I don't talk about my mum anymore because she died six years ago toru. I need to get over it, I don't want to be weak by showing emotions. I just need to get over it, I don't need your protection, I don't need anyone's protection. I'm stronger by myself." 

"y/n-chan. don't you dare talk like that! you can't just hold your emotions in it's not healthy. I don't want you to have a massive blow out and get put in a hospital. then I couldn't protect you in a hospital because you'll have other people to do it for you and I want to look after you. only me and no one else." he's so serious about this "yeah I get it, you made a promise to my mum but it's not like you'll be with me forever it's not like you're going to marry me so you could protect me. think Toru we're fourteen turning fifteen. we're going to high school, we're going to meet new friends. I'm going to aobajohsai and you're going to shiritorizawa because you deserve to be there okay. you'll become a famous volleyball player and you'll go to an even better professional team and make it big."

Oikawa just sighs and looks up at me. "it does sound good but I just can't I don't want to not be friends with you. I know it's stupid but I really think we're soulmates y/n" the fuck. 

"don't be stupid. you're saying that because you don't like change. we're not soulmates. we're just friends. go home and get some sleep you're talking shit." I say whilst walking home. 

he can't be serious, can he?


	2. Intense training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Kageyama have been barred from the club but this doesn't last for long.

TW. Domestic Abuse 

"iwa-chan why can't I come in?" Toru whines. "because you've been banned for a week. you heard y/n, you can't come in. even Kageyama isn't in here. I guess he has self-control. I wonder what happened to you" ouch. "can I watch from the side?" he asks the nerve of this guy. "Shittykawa what did I tell you?" I ask "I'm banned for a week." I nod "that means you can't come in during volleyball hours. you brought this on yourself." I close the door. 

"he's going to be sulking all week now isn't he?" I ask iwaizumi he sighs and nods. "this is going to be one hell of a week. he's going to want our attention more because he won't be at practice." he says with fear in his eyes. "but it had to be done, we don't tolerate violence." he nods "why did Kageyama get banned for a week?" 

"he went against my instructions" he nods. "you don't have to play today if you don't want to. they're only improving on what they know." I mention sitting on the bench and he sits next to me. "I bet he's going to come up with some shitty insults." Iwaizumi mentions which makes me chuckle. 

"Do you know he got accepted into Shiritorizawa. He refuses to go though" iwaizumi just chuckles. "He wouldn't suit going to shiritorizawa. Plus rumours have it that Ushijima is going to shiritorizawa as well. You've seen how they act. It's a bitter rivalry" he reminds. Sighing I respond. "But he'll do better there if he goes aobajohsai I think he'll be too carried away with girls to actually play Volleyball" 

Iwaizumi just chuckles. "You think if he goes aobajohsai he'll get too distracted to play Volleyball? Y/n you've got to be kidding me right? You're nearly as dumb as Shittykawa himself." Ouch "he likes showing off. It's a fact. But he'll never abandon his friends and his passion to get laid." 

Uhm... Okay. "Yeah you got that right Iwa-chan" Oikawa yells from the window outside. As I turn around I see Oikawa's head pop up. "You little shit," I mutter "well I'm not in the sports hall so you can't send me away" do I be pathetic. "Well you can stay there but technically your fingers are in the hall. If you can keep holding on to the bars then go for it." I challenge. I'm not going to be pathetic, it's no fun. "I'm not going to go to shiritorizawa dummy. Not many people there know me and I'll never be able to come with Ushijima." He pips in.

He's actually going to stay there. Wow. "Well, junior high prefectures are coming up. You better practice your killer serve. Tomorrow they're doing a synchronised attack and a delayed block. It'll give us the upper hand if we master those moves. We've got a pretty strong team as it is but if we master those moves it'll be even better for us." 

"can I come in? my arms hurt" he whines again. "no you made the choice and you need to pay the consequences. if I can't let Kageyama in I can't let you in." 

"just let Kageyama in then" he continues whining. "No! Trashykawa shut up before I push you off" I threatened. He sighs and drops down. "I don't even need this club anyway" 

"He's going to have a paddy, isn't he?" I ask Iwaizumi. "Going to?" He asks "he already is"   
This day is going to get troublesome. I know it already. I hate when he gets like this. Sometimes it's really scary. 

Sometimes he forgets to control himself and it brings me back to that day... 

That day I'd never forget...

"Mum, mum look at what I've drawn." A young boy with long black hair shouts whilst running down the corridor. "Ah y/n. It's so beautiful. Do you want me to hang it on the fridge?" The mum asks and the energetic boy nodded his head furiously. 

The woman takes the picture and pins in on the fridge connecting it by a magnetic field. And at that moment the house filled with love. 

This love was about to be broken. 

"Y/n" Iwaizumi shakes me back. "Hmm, sorry I was thinking" and by the looks of it, I was thinking all of the practice. I stand up before the club leaves. "Before you all go. We're going to be practising earlier in the morning and later in the evening. We'll be practising more rigorous movements that others will have heard if but not done. If you carry on with Volleyball in your next school you will learn these movements anyway. tomorrow come here at six am and practice is finishing at eight. I know it's late but you'll have plenty of breaks and the upper hand. Don't you want to win?" No response. "I'll tell you why Oikawa and Kageyama aren't here"

"We'll be here early" they yell and go out to class. "Are you going to tell them?" Iwaizumi asks. "No, I'll buy them for buns after. Common, we need to go to class and deal with Toru's fit of rage" 

When we enter the classroom there was this weird aura surrounding Toru. It was a don't talk or touch me or I'll bite your head off and grind your bones into power vibe. Intense I know.

"Hey" I greet him and he ignores me. "You can come to practice now." And with those words, the aura went away. Not completely but enough to interact with him. "Why? Something's up" he questions. "Intense training," I say and he sighs "new techniques really? Does it even matter if we win?" 

Did he really say that? "What happened? Whoo stole Toru Oikawa. He doesn't care about winning. Who is that?" I point to Iwaizumi grabbing his attention "that's Iwaizumi" we both look at each other and shuffle back a bit. "You're not Oikawa. Who are you?" He questions in fear.

"I'm not anyone else. I know Iwaizumi doesn't like it when I call him that. It's like how I hate being called shittykawa."

"It's self-aware!" I shout out. "Pardon me miss, but can I take Oikawa to the nurse's office I don't think he's well" the teacher nods her head and I grab Toru by his wrist and drag him out of that classroom. 

Whilst walking there Toru pushes himself off if me and pushes me to the wall. What the hell?

"There's nothing wrong with me. Stop acting selfishly for once." The man with an obvious beer belly shouts at a quivering woman. "If you worked hard enough I wouldn't have to work at all. All you think about is you and the brat you brought into this world." 

The man walks over to the cowering child in the corner. "Why did you have to be born?" The man reaches closer, takes off his belt and whips the kid till he's black and blue. "What's the problem? You don't want to fight anymore?" He laughs. "What's the point. You love to hurt me and mum. I might as well let you" 

This kid was no older than eight. And he had to witness and deal with his father


	3. Pervkawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the aftermath of the previous situation and we also find out about Toru's after school activities

"Y/n?" A voice calls out. "Y/n are you okay?" They ask. I can't move. Why? I'm at school. "Shit, what did I do?" What did he do?

I feel someone pick me up and carry me somewhere. The last thing I remember is Toru pushing me off if his wrist. So why can't I move?

"You'll be alright y/n. The nurse knows how to deal with this." Toru? I'm sorry I didn't recognise you earlier. 

I open my eyes a bit. The light is bright. "Miss? Please help him. It happened again" Toru mentioned. "Did you let him play Volleyball again? Oikawa how many times have I told you. He can't do anything that will cause injuries. No physical activities." 

"He wasn't he thought I was ill so he was bringing me here and I took his hand off if my wrist and he fell and hit his head on the wall," I thought he pushed me? I must have imagined it. 

"How hard did you push him off?" She asks "I don't know miss" the nurse walks away after she dealt with me. 

"This is why I can't leave you y/n. One wring hit and you're out cold. What is going on through your mind I'll never know" he mutters angrily

"I'm sorry Oikawa..." I whisper. "I'm just a nuisance to you. I can't do anything. I'm sorry for being a disturbance. You could do much better if I weren't holding you back." Tears escape my eyes. "Damn right you should apologise. You had me worried. You're not a nuisance without you I'd be in the bottom set for everything your brains got me into the top class with you"

"No you got into that class so you can keep an eye on me I'm not stupid. You do different work then we do." I remind. "How do you know?" He whines. "You ask me for help all the time" he just looks at me 

"That's not the point. I just want to help you recover. I want to be that person you come to when you're feeling down. I'll be your rock. I'll be that one stick you need to pull yourself out of a sinkhole. I'll always be there for you."

Does he really mean that though? I mean why would he lie to me? "Do you seriously doubt me?" Damn it. "I'm being honest. Do you want me to be honest about something else as well?" He asks and I just nod my head. "You need a hair cut. You look like one of those guys from the henta- he stops his sentence halfway. 

"You pervert. You're looking at that at your age?" He achieves eye contact before saying "needs are needs." 

How disgusting. "Do I really need a haircut though?" He nods I feel my hair and he was right. It was past my eyes. And to be frank. It was a dull black. Maybe I should dye it as well. Perhaps a light purple. 

I reach into my pocket and grab a bobble. What? Sometimes I can't see anything. I grab the fringe and I tie it up. Exposing my forehead. "I forgot how cute your eyes are Y/n- chan" he squeals. Now I remember why my fringe was so long. 

"You're so fucking deformed." The man spits at the young boy. "How can you produce a monster like this? Look at him" the boy just sat there looking down. The words of the bloated man made the boy feel so self-conscious. " what kind of a freak has two different colour eyes? We should give him to the circus. They'll love freaks like him. Then I'll have more money for beer and meat" 

"They're not cute. They're ugly." I say deadpanned. "I just forgot to put in my contact lense. " why would you? It's such a blessing to have different colour eyes. You only see that kind of stuff in Managa's and Anime's and... Other programs" he whispered the last part. Why is he such a pervert? "I'll get my hair cut later. I can't be bothered to do it now. Maybe in the holidays, I'll get it cut and dyed." 

I swear if he smiles any more his face will disappear...

"let's go back to class, if I miss anymore I'll become as dumb as you are." his smile disappears "after that heartfelt speech, you play me dirty. that's cruel y/n-chan" he whines. he's always whining. sometimes it gets annoying. "well we won't be going to class. we'll- I mean you'll be going to practice."

"Nah, you two are allowed back. we're training till late now. There are only two weeks to the tournament. I want you to do your best, therefore, you must be in practice." I hope iwaizumi told Kageyama. 

we make our way to the sports hall and practice starts.


	4. Inter high prefectures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Join the team in the inter-high tournament

today was the day. it was the junior high prefectures. We've already won to yukigaoka junior high. And we won to chidoriyawa junior high. They're Libero is one of the best... If he wasn't there the match would've gone much quicker. But he's got skill and when he runs his hair runs with him. He's pretty cool for a second year. 

Now we wait for the match against Shiritorizawa academy junior high. They're practising right now. "Everybody listen up," I call the team in. "Don't get cocky. Don't try to show off. We're going up against Shiritorizawa junior high. These guys are the best if the best and already have spots on the leading line of Shiritorizawa's actually Volleyball team. We all know the strength of Ushijima's spikes. But don't let that stop you today. Today we fight. Today we'll claim victorious. Just try to achieve perfect execution of the spikes, the tosses of everything we've gone through in practice. Try to focus on attacking the ball on the offence and playing good team defence. I've watched a couple of there matches and they're a force to be reckoned with. But I believe in you. Just try your best, that's all I ask for. After this, whether we win or we lose I'll treat you all to Raman, whatever toppings you want it's on me." A new aura emerges in the team. 

Good, it looks like my speech did what it was supposed to. I just hope Oikawa doesn't try to be flashy. "Hajime come here a moment" I call out. He trots over "if Oikawa shows off you have my permission to kick him." A smile appears on his face. "Gladly" 

Sometimes Iawazumi is scary. the match has just started and shiritorizawa get the first serve which we receive. Nice. Oikawa goes to toss. A SETTER DUMP. I said no showing off. "SHITTYKAWA WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SHOWING OFF. I KNOW YOU GOT US A POINT BUT DON'T SHOW OFF" and on cue Iwaizumi kicks his side. 

Is this boy ignoring me? He did a toss into a dump. "You get no toppings on your Raman if you keep on showing off" I yell and he just looks annoyed. It was time for Shittykawas serve. 

His serves are good but will Shiritorizawa be able to receive. They couldn't receive them before. And they can't receive them now. 

We're still behind. Stupid Ushijima's monster spikes no one can receive or block them but we'll try to. We manage to trick them when we did a delayed quick attack. 

But do you know what was weird? They couldn't receive the normal serves. Wait... The setter was in the back so it makes sense.okay. 

The first set was Shirtorizawas. The momentum was ruined and the aura had disappeared. They've accepted defeat? 

"Don't you dare give up. As long as the ball doesn't go on the floor the game is in play. Have I taught you to give up? No, because I haven't taught you. But still don't give up. Not now, not ever. We're got going to give up and let them win easily, are we? Yes, they've won two sets but there's one more. Go and give them hell. Oikawa use that serve" he smiles. "So I can show off now?" He asks and I nod. 

They do loose but they go fighting. You could clearly see the anger plastered on Ushijimas face. It was priceless. It's like he couldn't understand why we were trying so hard when we know we lost. the answer he is missing in just one simple word. pride. we'd rather go down trying rather than go down willingly. 

as we knew, we lost. things weren't all that bad. Oikawa got the best setter award. of course, he was bragging the whole way back. "I'm the best server. did you see me y/n I was all like whoosh and the ball was like nope it's not going to you." this language. "speak English dumbass" Iwaizumi shouts at Oikawa. "okay everyone gets showered and let's go get some Raman." I cheered as we went out of the bus. I know they're hiding their feelings. it's obvious. "everyone. before you carry on. your phones." they look at me suspiciously before handing them to me. 

they're right to be suspicious. I mean their parents know what's happening anyway. the coach and I had asked for permission earlier in the week. I put everyone's phones in a container and hide it from them. I wait for them in the corridor. when I hear wet feet run out. I turn to see who it was but I quickly turn back. "SHITTYKAWA GO AND WRAP A TOWEL AROUND YOURSELF BEFORE TALKING TO ME" 

he comes back when he's decent. "what do you want?" I ask. "why is our stuff here?" he asks slightly frightened. "is everyone dressed?" I ask and he peeks inside then nods. "tell them to come to the sports hall and I'll explain everything." he goes back in whilst I walk back to the sports hall sitting on the stage. 

Once everyone comes in I explain. "so, I've talked to your parents and we're having a chill session tonight at my place. I've taken your phones because you will immediately look at what people have to say about the match, so grab your bags and we'll head to mine" 

Oikawa stays behind. "you really are something." he mentions making me blush a bit. "well I know you all. Plus it's a bit of bro time to let off some steam, have a bit of a cry and laugh" he nods and gets his bag. 

"Hey, are your parents going to be okay with us staying over?" one of them asks. "yeah you don't have to worry about them at all," I say in a more sinister tone. "why?" he asks "they're dead. I live on my own" you can hear them stop walking except Iwaizumi and Oikawa. they already know this. "if you don't carry on walking you're going to lose us. hurry up" I shout at them. "it's no biggie anyway" 

"put on a movie, I'll order in. I can't be bothered to walk to the shop." I say whilst getting there orders. "don't let Toru pick a soppy movie, I don't wanna be bummed out any more." I can faintly hear his whines from the room I'm in. Kunimi walks in. "I'm so sorry about what the other said earlier." he apologises. "it's fine. it's been years since it happened anyway. I'm over it." he looks at me with concern . "someone's knocking. it must be the food." I say whilst escaping the conversation. why do I always say that? I'm not over it. how could I be over my own parent's death? it's traumatising.


	5. Late night gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n has a brilliant idea of having a sleepover to get the team's mind off of losing to Shiritorizawa junior

"you ordered a lot this time, hungry? or are you buying a lot so you don't have to go out?" the delivery man says. "Nah the volleyball team is here. I'm treating them because they lost to shiritorizawa junior high" lots of groans emerge "we're talking about it anyway" I shout whilst taking the food and handing the money over. "that's the whole point of this. we're going to cry about what happened, we're going to binge, watch movies play games and gossip." I place the food down where the boys were sitting whilst getting cutlery from the draws. "what drinks do you guys want? I got Ramune drinks you know the one's with the marbles, Calpis, Yakult or cold oolong tea." 

"oolong? you have an old taste in tea. it's all about green tea these days." Tashiro calls out. old taste. "yeah well shut up, I paid for your food didn't I?" I get everyone's drinks and I go to where the boys are. "what did you pick?" I ask whilst sitting down next to Oikawa. "Alice in the country's heart: wonderful wonder world." Must be new, I haven't heard of it before

-time skip to after the movie-

"so you're telling me, that this girl followed a rabbit who turned into a rabbit man half breed and tells this Alice girl that she has to partake in these games to go home but she has to drink this stuff that she doesn't even know what it is and then there's this wonderland Mafia that is after them?" I ask and they nod. "it was so weird." Toobetsu mutters indeed it was.

"let's play some games." Oikawa suggests and everyone agrees. "let me get my game station from upstairs then," I say whilst getting up but I'm immediately dragged back down and moved onto Oikawa's lap. what the...

"not that sort of game dumbass. I thought you were smart. let's play a game like never have I ever."

really? what kind of game is this? "okay you hold up your fingers and each person says never have I ever done something and if you've done it you put a finger down. I'll go first. never have I ever had a crush on someone in Volleyball club" 

cunt. 

"who have you had a crush on?" people ask. "why should I say? let's continue. never have I ever forged my parents signature" no one puts there fingers down. "Toru put your finger down. I know you've done it" I can feel him huff whilst he puts his finger down. 

by the end of the game, all my fingers were down. I hate this game. there are so many personal questions. "this game is stupid" I mutter "you only think it's stupid because you've done a lot of things," he says whilst pushing me into his chest making my face turn a bright shade of pink. "okay another one truth or dare. you know how to play this I hope" they nod and we start. 

"y/n truth or dare," Oikawa asks me. "truth. Wait what type of truth or dare is it?" I ask looking at him. He gives me that look. "You dirty pervert. We are not playing truth it dare. Oikawa will twist this game into something else."

"Why don't we have a little whine and cry session. I know all of you are itching to let your emotions go. So why don't we just say what's on our minds? Oikawa go first" I command. 

"Uhm, I could have given you all better tosses, I feel like that's the main reason why we didn't win against Shiritorizawa. I feel like it's my fault that we didn't win because I wasn't a good enough Captain." 

"Well, I'll tell you that your one of the best captains. Everyone is going to feel like it's their fault that we lost. Even me. But just remember in the wise words or Iwaizumi

'Do you think you're fighting by yourself? You've got to be kidding, you dumbass! If you think how you're doing equals how the team will do, I'll punch you. There is no one of our team who can beat ushiwaka one-on-one! However, there are six players on a volleyball court"

"Iwaizumi really said that?" One of them asks causing iwaizumi to hit them on the head. "Of course I did. It's wise words. But the point is don't beat yourself up about not winning because you are not the team singlehandedly. We are a team." 

Some wise words. "Anyway getting back to the point if this cry session. I feel like I failed as a manager. I feel like I didn't prepare enough practice matches, I feel like we were practising the wrong stuff and we should've been practising how to block and receive attacks like Ushijimas. I could've done so much more. I failed you guys as a manager. I won't continue in Aobajohsei don't worry. I won't bring you down again"

A few tears escape my eyes. Fuck you waterworks. Oikawa turns me around on his lap. "You're the best manager we could've asked for. No one else could've pushed us the way you did. I hope you're our manager in Aobajohsei. If not I'm going to sign you up for it myself." 

He reaches over and grabs my hair bobble and ties it up so it's not going to stick to my face. "Great now I can't turn around. Thanks, Shittykawa." I mutter into his chest. "After that heartfelt speech, you go and call me Shittykawa. You're so mean y/n-chan"

I just hug him as a way of apologising. "I think I know who y/n likes" hashikimi pipes in. Damn it. I forgot about that. "Enlighten me then. Who do I like?" I ask

"Oikawa-Kun~" he teases making me turn around. "I do not," I say defensively. "Ouch y/n-chan" 

"Y/n... Your eyes." Shit. "Are you wearing contact lenses?" Toobetsu asks "they're a birth defect. They're ugly I know" 

"They're so cool" half of the boy's shout out. "Cool?" I ask and they nod. "Pervkawa always says they're cute and I should cut my hair so you can see them but, I can't. It just doesn't feel right I've learnt and was told to always hide them because I'm a disgrace to society. Okay next person" 

"It was Oikawas fault." Iwaizumi states. "All throughout the match he was trying to show off. Do you know how many times I had to kick him? He would've been more concentrated in the game if he wasn't so concentrated on flirting with the girls at the top" 

"We should totally give y/n a hair cut," Oikawa says. What? Most of the team agrees. "All of you?" I ask "of course not it'll get too crowded and you'll end up looking as stupid as Kageyama." 

Somewhere Kageyama sneezes

"Fine," I say whilst getting up. I run upstairs and grab my scissors. OoO should I listen in to what they're saying?

"So Oikawa-Kun. Are the rumours true?" What rumours "which one?" He asks his voice deeper than normal. "The one about you wanting to stay with Y/n for the rest of your life." 

"Of course it's true. I need to protect y/n-chan. I Love y/n and I just want to be in his life permanently." He loves me?

"I can hear you getting happy Oikawa, don't let that be true," I say whilst running down the stairs. "Don't run it you might fall" iwaizumi yells out. "I won't fall," I say whilst landing on the floor face first. "Yeah, I had that coming." 

"Here scissors. Don't make me look like an utter flid." I say "I don't trust you Oikawa you'll make me look like you" I don't wanna look like him. It'll be weird. "You're not going to look like me. There can only be one" he says dramatically whilst taking the scissors. 

Okay, how about we go short in the sides but like you can have a hanging fringe?" He asks "I don't know. Just make me look good" I mutter. 

After some time and a lot of questions, he was done. "Does t look good?" I ask the team and they nod. I walk to a mirror "damn Oikawa did you ever think of being a hairstylist?" I ask and he chuckles. "I'm practically good at everything"


	6. First day at Aoba Johsei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's y/n's first day at Aoba johsei and Toru already warned the school

today is the first day. I'm going to Aobajohsei. yes, it's a bit scary going to the big school. "Y/n-chan! did you dye your hair?" I nod whilst flicking the hair out of my eyes. "I wanted a bit of a change the colour was boring." he smiles widely at me. "what?" I ask suspiciously. "I messed you" 

"We are together every day, how could you miss me? we were even together in the holidays." reminding him makes him smile even more. "stop smiling perv." this guy is so creepy. "the uniform looks good on you" he compliments. "it's nice and fitting in the right places." tch.

"Oikawa, stop perving on me or I'll kick you back to Kitagawa Daichii so you can hang out with Kageyama." he backs off a bit whilst we walk to the assembly hall joining with Hajime along the way. 

we get to the assembly hall just in time and we quickly take our places. "thank you all for joining us today we have definitely got ourselves some future credits this year if they carry on with sports and management." so they've scouted? "we hope you enjoy your time at aobajohsei" 

that assembly was pointless. "are we in the same classes?" I ask looking at my schedule and they nod. "Oikawa did you get in the same class on smarts or did you ask again?" I ask "what do you mean ask again? oh did you tell the school about what happens to you? he asks completely dodging my question. he definitely asked. "no, why would I? I don't want to be any more trouble to them" 

"you need to tell them y/n-chan. even ask iwa-chan" he whines. I look at iwaizumi and he sighs "for once I agree with Oikawa. you need to tell them, what if you blank out here. no one will know what to do." of all the times he agrees with shittykawa why does it have to be now? "nope not doing it." why should I? "too bad because when they asked why I wanted to be in the same class as you I told them the reason and they said you hadn't mentioned anything so they'll question you." he told them "well I only said that you get blackouts so don't worry I didn't tell them why you get blackouts" thank God.

"great I'm going to have attention on me now." 

"you were always going to have attention on you whether Oikawa did what he did or not." I give him a questioning look. "well for one your eyes and second if you hit your head or something you'll back out anyway. so you're going to get people asking questions or making up rumours." Iwaizumi mentions. damn, he's right. "fine, I'll tell them" I mutter opening the class door. At least we're not last in this time.

"if you guys make your way to the back I'll put you in seating pairs when everyone has arrived." we wait for the rest of the class but I can immediately feel people's eyes on me. "don't worry y/n-chan, if anyone tries to come at you for what you look like we'll make sure they never do it again" Oikawa reassures whilst rubbing circles on my back. "if you don't get your hand off of my back I will snap it off of your wrist." he immediately takes his hand off of my back. "but thank you for saying that, it's like you read my mind"

"no, you're just an open book" I swear I'm going to hit this guts. "okay. Oikawa and l/n sit in the front right corner." This bitch. I glare at Toru as he takes the window seat. "so we're sitting in front of the teacher's desk now?" I ask him. he just ignores me. "Shittykawa don't you ignore me. I won't apply for the manager of Volleyball." he just stares down at the table. "I see how it's going to be" 

halfway through the lesson, someone opens the door making the whole class look up from there work. "Can I borrow y/n please?" A tall male asks. 

He must be a councillor. The teacher nods as I walk to the door. I can just feel everyone's eyes on me. 

"You're not in trouble. We just want to talk about something your friend told us earlier." He says whilst we walk into the guidance counsellor room. "Your friend Toru Oikawa said you suffer from blackouts could you please explain why you didn't tell us when you applied to Aobajohsei." Are they going to kick me out?

"You're not going to kick me out are you?" I ask and they look shocked. "No, of course, we won't we just need to know why and when you get blackouts" 

I guess now is the time I talk about it. "I'll start from the beginning then"

**Author's Note:**

> This story is my own I've moved it to AO3 from Wattpad so please be mindful of that. 
> 
> If anyone is going through any of the things mentioned in this book please don't be afraid to talk about it my dm's are always open


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